Thanks to Daniel Snyder’s unwillingness to change he has inspired many communities across America to stand up and create their own sports teams. Many communities have seen how Mr. Snyder wont bend to the feeble Native Americans plead to change the name and due to this they too want to create teams with the same intrinsic value. Some of these heartfelt teams wanted to get their message across to the public by giving small descriptions of their values.
The California Beach Bums
Motto: “Dude Hang Ten”
We are a team with very naturalistic values. We hold all that nature has to offer highest. The NFL has never seen a team like ours. We may not be the fastest, the keenest, or even the most talented but we are the most environmentally friendly. We are currently working on the worlds first split toe sandal cleat. This technology will allow our team to stay fashionable while also being easily slipped on and off. Overall we have to thank Mr. Snyder for allowing our team to promote the most chill way of life.
The Superior Minstrels
Motto: Save face by going Black Face
We are a group based off of pure southern values. For our NBA team we will show everyone what great basketball players come out of the south. We pride our selves on the team uniforms which consist of painting our faces black and wearing homemade potato sack jerseys. The potato sacks are one of the most essential parts of our team for they allow maximum flexibility. Along with out potato sacks we also pride our selves on breaking down barriers by painting our faces. No longer can our teammates judge one another based on their physical appearance if everyone has the same color face. Due to this unity our team is the most dedicated team that will ever step foot on the basketball court. We are superior to every other team in any aspect conceivable and soon the world will know that. Thanks to Mr. Snyder we woke up and realized who cares what people feel if your team is successful.
Los Luchadores de Hierba (The Grass Wrestlers)
Motto: We will mow through our competition 1 course at a time!
We are team based on solid moral values Honor, Family, Tradition, and Doughnuts! We are going to be the first ever team to enter into the PGA tour. We believe that all sports have teams so why should golf not be the same. Our team has trained for over a decade on many golf courses in multitudes of country clubs. The sport of golf we believe is a tranquil escape from our lives. We would have never generated enough courage to come the public if it was not for Señor Snyder. Señor Snyder opened up our eyes to the real America and for a man to have such a team on spotlight and not give in to the demands of society it really inspired us to make our move as well.
Murica’s Confederates
Motto: When all else fails Duck Tape.
We are a team that relies heavily on our good old southern upbringing’s. For the past thirty years our team has participated in a sport that is not professionally recognized Mud Bogging. Mud Bogging is a southerners past time, we dive our jacked up trucks in and out of mud pits just for the thrill. This sport is truly a demanding one for if you mess up one detail you could lose your whole truck to the swamp lands. Our team uniforms consist of camouflage boots, camouflage jeans, camouflage belt, camouflage T-Shirts, camouflage hoodies, and camouflage hats with the fish hook on the bill of the cap. Along with our team uniforms our trucks also coordinate. Our trucks all are painted completely with camouflage and have duck tape in the trunk to fix almost every problem that we may come across. Our team wants to show the public that just because we blend in with the forest our sport is still visible. Mr. Snyder taught us a very important fact that its okay to step on the small people as long as your team makes you millions and is awesome.
As you can see this spur of creativity in America is truly amazing. Though these are just a few of the teams coming out of the woodwork many more have yet to get the same courage to make their dreams come true. It’s unbelievable that one man incited such positive creativity in the communities across America. All of these teams express their gratitude to Mr. Snyder for allowing them to understand that even though you may step on the feelings of others as long as their names are not on your paycheck then their opinions are irrelevant.
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